I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
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the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
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It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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