it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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