Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
