in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
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I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
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So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I have poison ivy on my dick
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.