Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.