you guys were way drunker than both of me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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