This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
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I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
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Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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