i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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