God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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