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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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