oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
