my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.