Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume