I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
