It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
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Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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