we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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