lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize