Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
