Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
