I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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