i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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