I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize