i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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