I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.