we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night