My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT