with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...