Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
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You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us