When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
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New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
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Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that