I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize