he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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