You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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