I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
