I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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