Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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