I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
