went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
