so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
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honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?