3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
