That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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