i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize