Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize