Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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