i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
meet me or not, i'm out of control
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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