this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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