Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i drank out of a bidet.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize