I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you inspire me to be a worse person
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
