Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
