Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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