i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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