Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
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I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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