Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"