I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago