"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick