Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper