Umm I'm too high to move.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Alive.
So much puke
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
