If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
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I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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