Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
