did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
