I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
